My Experience
ITEC Diploma Kingston School of Natural Therapies in Anatomy Physiology & Body Massage.
Diploma in Nutrition for Healthcare Practitioners.
I embarked on a spiritual journey having had an experience with the Holy Spirit in 1980, after being set free from alcohol addiction! With the Holy Spirit I experience more joy, peace and love instead of hangovers and torment and depression!
At this time I also began to understand the Holy Bible. And the reason why I am sharing my experience is because of Psalm 107; Verse 2 'Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom He has delivered from the hand of the adversary'.
Because of my very low state of health from birth with a forceps delivery, bottle feeding, childhood vaccinations, and not the ideal diet containing too much sugar and dairy produce, I developed many childhood ailments. My tonsils and adenoids were removed when I was seven years old (tonsils and adenoids are part of the immune system). Over the years I developed asthma, sugar and alcohol addiction, experienced slow learning, panic attacks migraines and depression.
I had quite a happy childhood mainly in the company of my grandparents as we lived in their home. My mother was very busy looking after my younger sister and my dad was often away in the navy. My grandmother taught me how to sew and knit and she read children's Bible stories to me. I remember her telling me that Jesus had died on a cross and that he died for me. As soon as she said this to me I started to cry! My grandfather was my best friend and spent a lot of time taking me for country walks. We used to spend time in the garden and in his greenhouse, growing plants. We also spent time indoors together playing games, such as ludo, dominoes, snakes and ladders etc. My grandmother became ill when I was 10 years old and she was confined to her bed because of having a stroke. In those days we didn't put elderly people into nursing homes, our parents looked after them at home. I helped my mother look after my grandmother by taking food to her bedroom on a tray, helping her to feed, brushing her hair and washing her. One day she became very delirious and at one point screamed at my mother to get me out of her bedroom! This was an extremely distressing experience for both my mother and myself. After she passed away in our house, my grandfather became depressed as he missed her very much. When I was 11 years old, just less than a year after my grandmother died, my grandfather, who had bronchitis, came up to my bedroom, against my mother's wishes, whilst she was out shopping. She had told him not to walk up the stairs because of his bronchitis. I was in bed with asthma. My grandfather sat on my bed and I remember him saying goodbye to me which I didn't understand at the time. On reflection he must have known that he was going to die. The following morning I heard a lot of commotion in the next room, then looked out of the window and saw my grandfathers coffin being taken down the drive and put into a hearse and driven away. I was absolutely devastated when my mother came into my bedroom and told me what had happened. I shut down emotionally for over 20 years and couldn't cry. I just remember praying 'Goodbye granpy, see you in heaven', I had already given my heart to Jesus at the Roman Catholic convent school so had been taught a little about prayer. During this traumatic experience with my grandmother and my grandfather I was emotionally disturbed and couldn't concentrate at school. My mother used to take me to the convent on a Saturday morning for extra tuition for the 11 Plus exam, however I still managed to fail it!
Because we were Anglicans my mother arranged for me to go to confirmation classes, I had already been christened in the Church of England as a baby. I had developed a lot of fear in my life at this stage because of being around my grandparents dying and also around the priests and the nuns in the Roman Catholic convent. There was a lot of emphasis on punishment and eternal separation from God. One day whilst walking from the convent through the woods to the playing fields, we walked past a stagnant lake. Some of the children whispered that underneath this lake was 'hell' and that if you committed the unpardonable sin which they said was 'murder' you would end up in hell underneath this stagnant lake forever. At around the age of 13 I developed a huge wart on one of my fingers. The organist at the Anglican church we attended St.Mary's, Bickleigh, suggested that I would have it charmed away. Apparently there was a man in Cornwall that did that type of thing and she arranged to have him charm the wart away and it worked! I never had to meet this man and a couple of weeks later, the wart had disappeared. I had no idea, at that age, that the Bible forbids these type of practices. Deuteronomy 18:9-14 'There shall not be found among you, anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, or one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who conjurers spells, or a medium or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. For all who do these things are an abomination to the Lord, and because of these abominations, the Lord your God, drives them out from before you. You shall be blameless before the Lord your God. For these nations which you will dispossess listen to soothsayers and diviners; but as for you, the Lord your God has not appointed such for you'.
I really didn't want to be confirmed in the Church of England, however I had to be obedient to my mothers wishes. I attended the confirmation classes which I didn't understand. On the day of my confirmation I had to dress in a white top and white skirt and felt very rebellious and fearful. The bishop of Plymouth came to the church and said some prayers over the confirmation candidates, then placed a mitre on our shoulders. I was very fearful about the whole experience. Looking back on it all now, in an ideal world I should have received the Holy Spirit. However I had never heard of the Holy Spirit in those days even though I went to Church. No-one in my family read the Bible! However a few years later at Christmas I had my first taste of sherry and never looked back because this seemed the answer to many of my problems. I remember feeling euphoric and I could feel the alcohol travelling throughout my body. It took away my fear and lack of confidence and gave me a great sense of well being. This was the introduction to my alcoholic addiction that lasted for the next 15 years, when, by God's grace I was set free. The Holy Bible tells us not to be drunk with wine but to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
Having left the convent because I failed the 11 Plus examination, I was now embarking on a new path in a rough secondary modern school where even more fear entered my life. Most of the children at this school had a different background from me. They often teased me which was very upsetting, so I was fearful of going to school most mornings because of the rough children and the somewhat aggressive teachers. I questioned a lot of what we were learning at school. For example in geography I wondered how water could stick to a ball shaped earth spinning at thousands of miles per hour, going around the sun! When I was a child although I thought I was wrong to believe this concept, perhaps I wasn't quite so unintelligent as I thought. "He who answers a matter before he hears the facts - it is folly and shame to him" (Proverbs 18:13 - Amplified Bible). "What a shame, what folly, to give advice before listening to the facts!" (Proverbs 18:13 New Living Translation Bible). For an excellent documentary on this subject click here 'Jesuits Erasing our Flat Earth'.
The significance of the Firmament enclosed flat earth.
To Pastors against Flat Earth.
Flat Earth: What holds up the Earth?
The Cosmic Breath Stream
The Aurora Borealis
75 King James Version - Bible Verses
How Southern Stars work on Flat Earth
Proof! No one has been to space!
Planes hit Firmament
Flat Earth for beginners - Hold on to your hat!
Whistleblower CONFIRMS Satellites are not what you were told
How and Why Flat Earth was Hidden
Rainbows are NOT what you were told
Scientists find evidence of a Dome structure
Feed Your Mind - Flat Earth Proof - The Secret origin of Satellite technology Revealed
The REAL REASON Time Is RUNNING OUT On The GLOBE EARTH‼️
Rainbow (The Glory of God)
Lava and Magma is not what we were told
Biblical Flat Earth vs Fake NASA Globe
The Dome, the Throne Skyfall 2
Pastor Dean Odle - The Lesser & Full Moon Dynamics of an Eclipse
Inside a Flat Earth convention, where nearly everyone believes Earth isn't round
The Tower of Babel Proves that the Earth is Flat.
We did not Go To The Moon BUZZ - Flat Earth
The Mindblowing Size of the Flat Earth Discovered
There is no such thing as Gravity on Flat Earth
Proof the Sun and Moon Travel Through Portals outside of Our Dimension
Breaking... Firmament Discovered over the Flat Earth!
NASA Slams Rocket Into Flat Earth
The Earth is Flat... Do You Trust The Science?
The Rainbow is Proof that the Earth is Flat
5 Guys Prove The Earth Is Flat!
Flat Earth Convention in Amsterdam
Flat Earth Convention in Amsterdam Part 2
Book Of Psalms REVEALS What Is BEYOND The ICE WALL
The SECRET History of the Bible FINALLY REVEALED!!
The SECRET History of CHURCH!!
BENEATH the Earth IS NOT What You Were Told!!
PROOF Rare Skystone Might Be a Piece Of The FIRMAMENT?!
Trump Finally Exposes NASA as a Fraud!
Top Scientist Silence Finally Broken About The Flat Earth , Magic & Gravity
Proof EVERYONE Was INDOCTRINATED Since BIRTH!!
STOP Falling For CURVED LENSES!! (PROOF The Earth is FLAT!!
PROOF the "Space Station" IS NOT What You Were Told!
Reality is NOT what you were told!
Height of the dome firmament EXPLAINED
The Mystery of Crop Circles | L.A. Marzulli
Former FBI agent EXPOSES the truth of the UFO invasion | Redacted
The Shape of the Universe - Dr Gene Kim - Bible Revival - Australia - Day 3
Beyond the Ice Wall of Antarctica
Renowned University Professor Major Coleman revealed Noah's Ark was a Fl...
Top Geophysicist States the Earth is Flat
The Moon Landing: Stanley Kubrick's Greatest Film
I left school at 16 and with few qualifications, however I then attended the College of Housecraft and the Pryors Secretarial College in Plymouth where I became a very efficient short hand typist. At around the age of 17 I started dating boys which was another fearful experience. My dad was a very angry man when he returned from the Navy whilst I was growing up as a teenager after my grandparents had died. Over the years I came to realise how disturbed my dad had been because he had been blown off a ship in World War II in North Africa. Around this time I started to drink socially. One day I remember going to my mothers grocery cupboard underneath the stairs and taking the brandy bottle down to have a couple of swigs before a boy came to the door to take me out on a date. I always had to have some alcoholic drinks before I went on any social occasion as a confidence boost. I became pregnant at the age of 19. My mother told me I'd have to be sent away because she didn't want the neighbours or the Church congregation to know about this shameful situation. My GP advised me to take very large doses of Castor Oil and Epsom salts as I was desperate not to be sent away. This was a very painful experience to go through at that age. I had no idea at that time I was carrying a real child, I thought it was just a lump of cells. After taking my GP's advice I didn't want to cause shame for my family. I took the large doses of Castor Oil and Epsom salts after which I was very sick and ill. I had to stay in bed for several days and this triggered the loss of my very early pregnancy as I was bleeding profusely. My relationship with my mother was very difficult and it became more so after this experience. I cannot remember being shown any compassion or love and forgiveness, just condemnation. Since going through a divorce many years later, the good Lord gave me the friendship of a very loving grandfather/widower, named Jim, who's daughter had become pregnant at a very young age. My dear friend Jim, supported his daughter in her very upsetting situation. He removed the boy from her life and he and his late wife raised her little girl as their own! Trisha is now in her 40's and has her own children. Ironically this family were not 'religious' just a very loving supportive family. Over the years and since receiving much healing from true believers I have come to realise and understand why so many people don't want anything to do with religion! After much healing it is very evident that it's not about 'religion' but about a relationship with Jesus, our Living Creator. If the Lord hadn't given me dear Jim, I am sure I would have had a complete breakdown! He supported me every day of my life at the beginning of my separation from my husband. Jim also found the little home that I am living in at the moment. I realise that many religious people, my family included, desperately needed to understand and work the 12 step life recovery programme of AA and Al-anon. The Life Recovery Bible is the most helpful Bible I have ever had and I have many different versions of the Bible.
At the age of 13 I had stopped attending the Anglican Church with my family as I saw no reality in some of the congregations behaviour such as gossiping and back-biting, also having to comment at the lunch table on Easter Sunday our opinions on all the women's fashions. I really didn't understand what the gospel was about. Since becoming spiritually reborn I now know that Psalm 139 explains that we have a Living Creator and He formed everyone in their mother's womb; that He has planned how long every one of us is going to live before one of our days had begun; that He knows what we are going to say before we say it. This is just awesome! My mother wasn't in touch with her feelings and emotions, at least she didn't express them, My way of coping with painful emotions and feelings was to drink alcohol and mask the pain. I didn't realise in those days how badly I needed the Al-Anon fellowships (these fellowships are groups of people in recovery, supporting one another and learning a spiritual way of life to cope with the effect that alcohol and alcoholic behaviour has had on our families - this possibly embraces many families in our society).
I moved to London to live when I was 21 years old after leaving home in the West Country. I Studied for some GCSE examinations and also worked as a Medical Secretary in various hospitals. Initially I started working with a Secretarial Agency and soon gravitated towards hospitals. I guess this was because I had been fearful of doctors and medical intervention since my childhood, however I remember also wanting to become a nurse when I was a child, setting up a hospital ward in the lounge with my dolls and pretend medicines etc. I am now pleased I didn't undertake nurse training because this would have meant administering pharmaceutical drugs to patients. I started working in the London hospital, Whitechapel, for the Gynaecology Consultants, they were very short of secretaries in those days. I took a Medical dictionary with me everywhere I went and worked as a secretary to the Consultants when their secretaries were off sick or on holiday. This was in the days before the Medical secretarial course had been introduced. I was very good at my Secretarial jobs, enjoying the work which was very interesting and challenging. I was offered a permanent job working for the Plastic Surgeons and E.N.T surgeons where I worked for around 3 years. Sometimes they would ask me if I would like to go to theatres and watch operations which I did and found it all very interesting. I especially enjoyed sitting in on the Plastic Surgery clinic on Friday mornings with the Consultant, chaperoning patients for him and taking notes in shorthand.
After arriving in London I shared a house with five other girls in Wandsworth. One of the girls, Caroline, introduced me to the ouija board. Several of us sat round a table one evening and were asking questions to a glass on a table which was moving around pointing to letters in the alphabet. The glass was answering questions which Caroline and some of the other girls were asking it. When it came to my turn, I can't remember what question I asked it, but the glass just shot across the table and smashed against the wall! I never participated in this practice again! On reflection, after this incident, and after becoming a spiritually reborn Christian I realised that the demonic spirit controlling the glass wouldn't have been allowed to touch me because I belonged to Jesus. I'd given my heart to Jesus as a child at the Roman Catholic Convent school and I had also been Christened as a baby in the Church of England. At this time I didn't understand the Bible and didn't know that to practise such things as the ouija board was an abomination to God (Deuteronomy 18).
At around this time my alcohol consumption was becoming a problem, I had been drinking since the age of 16 socially, and was finding it increasingly difficult to work on a regular basis. Therefore I quit my job in the London Hospital and re-joined the Medical Agency. They sent me to most of the London teaching hospitals, where I worked as a temporary secretary filling in for secretaries on holiday and sick leave. I worked for a wide range of Consultants of different specialities for approximately 5 years. I managed this better around my drinking because if I was feeling unwell in the mornings I would ring in to say I would come in later that day or the next day. One day I felt too ill to go to work in Harley Street where I was working for a private medical consultant with the agency. I was living at this time with two other girls in Enfield, Middlesex. One day I had consumed so much alcohol the night before that I woke up shaking, sweating and vomiting. The only thing that calmed me was to pour out several very strong gin and tonics first thing. During the course of the morning the doorbell rang, I answered to see a group of people standing on my doorstep saying 'the Lord has led us to this house this morning to pray for you', I invited them in, they all sat around me and I remember telling them that I no longer believed in God, hadn't been to church for years and saw no reality in it. This group of people handed me a booklet entitled 'Journey into Life', which I put away into my belongings and didn't look at it until after my eldest daughter Vicky was born.
I met my husband, John, through a mutual friend, an Orthopaedic receptionist at the Royal Free Hospital, Grays Inn Road, where I was working for one of the orthopaedic consultants whilst his secretary was on holiday. Sylvia, the receptionist, and her husband Wilson invited me round for supper one evening in North London and they had also invited John the same evening to meet me. John and I started dating and I continued drinking heavily during this time, however John didn't drink as much as I did. We married in July 1976 at St Mary's Church, Bickleigh in Devon. My dad, bless him, realised I was nervous before the wedding and gave me an egg cup full of milk and brandy. He didn't realise I was used to drinking brandy by the half bottle! I didn't wish to drink alcohol on my wedding day and by this time my doctor had given me anti-depressants and Valium, so on my wedding day I took 40 milligrams of Valium which helped me to get up the aisle in the Anglican Church in Devon! One aunt who attended the wedding remarked many years later, how thin and unwell I looked on my wedding day.
All of these experiences gave me a deep desire to search for truth so I decided to contact the vicar of St Mary's who conducted our wedding ceremony in Devon and had, by this time, moved to live in Cambridge. My parents told me that the bishop of Plymouth had defrocked him because of his abuse of young boys at the vicarage. As human beings we have a tendency to put people on pedestals (thinking they are "God"). Then when they fall off their pedestal, we disown them and discredit their character. This didn't deter me from wanting to speak with John, the vicar, because he was the only vicar I knew, and I presumed that because he was a vicar he would be able to lead me to a relationship with God! Although I was not always feeling very well - in fact far from it - I managed to contact him in Cambridge and he asked me to come up and visit him there. When I arrived at the house his male partner answered the door and he led into John's office. John (the vicar) remembered he had married John and myself the previous year, however he wasn't able to point me in the right direction to a relationship with God!
Soon after our wedding I became pregnant with Vicky, who was born just over a year after we got married. We were living in our first home, a first floor maisonette in Barnet at this time. My first experience of childbirth was extremely frightening, I was quite emotionally unwell, it was a very long labour and afterwards I experienced puerperal psychosis (this is a condition where one has hallucinations and delusions). I had to stay in hospital for two weeks, which everyone had to do in those days for a first baby. After the birth and had to move wards twice, the first time because there was an invasion of ants in the ward! The second time I was moved to a room on my own because I was experiencing hallucinations. I tried to escape from the hospital carrying my baby with me whilst nurses were chasing after me. I hadn't slept properly for two weeks even after having lots of sleeping tablets. I was experiencing hallucinations and delusions and refused to speak to a psychiatrist because I felt like I was in hell and torment. I have since discussed this psychosis experience with one of my clients who is a retired psychiatrist, and he tells me that most certainly my psychosis was caused through stress, lack of sleep on the post natal ward, combined with sleeping tablets, and Pethadine which is a pain controller. They also gave me Guinness on the ward after Vicky was born as it was supposed to promote the milk flow into my breasts. Eventually everything calmed down and they discharged me back to the flat where we lived and my mother came to help, which was not a very easy time for either of us. When my mother left to go home things began to settle down. I was very blessed to have Roger, a very kind GP at that time, who, I believe on reflection, was praying for me.
One day I was running a bath and I took the Journey into Life booklet into the bath to read because I was still searching for truth. At the end of the booklet there was a prayer to commit our lives to Jesus and I prayed this prayer. The booklet was telling me to go and tell another Christian what I had just done. I didn't know who to share this with so I went to my daughter who was just waking up in the other bedroom. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and I said 'darling baby Vicky, your mummy has just committed her life to Jesus again, but this time I think possibly its different!' Because our family tradition had been christening in the Church Of England, I approached the vicar of Holy Trinity, Barnet, who came to see us one day and arranged for Vicky to be christened. I thought it was necessary for babies to be christened to ensure their entry into heaven. I was christened as a baby and confirmed. However these traditions didn't make me spiritually reborn, maybe, the prayers of the Saints attending these services, and others who prayed for me along life's journey had some influence in this! We had a few friends and family members attending Vicky's christening service. It turned out to be quite hilarious for everyone as Vicky, looking so beautiful in her long white gown and shawl, blew raspberries throughout the whole service and had the congregation and vicar in stitches!
When Vicky was about a year old, we decided we would like to have another child and move to a bigger home. We bought a 3 story townhouse in Knebworth and for the first 3 months of living there I was decorating and working on the home. I decided to join the Mothers and Toddlers group in the village run by the Anglican Church. I was befriended there by three ladies, Jenny, Margaret and Maggie who ran the group and attended the Anglican church. I asked them many questions about God and they were praying for me. At about this time I also met a lady who recommended I attend the College of Psychic Studies in South Kensington, to find out more about the afterlife and about spiritual matters. My husband, John, said I could take the car down to South Kensington after he returned from work one evening and attend the meeting at the college. I attended a few meetings. The last meeting I attended, a very attractive lady was introduced as the speaker. She focused her eyes on me and said 'I'm not sure if he will come this evening'. As she looked at me I felt very uncomfortable, however after a few minutes she informed the audience 'Yes, its alright, he will come!'. The next thing that happened was that a man's voice, I've since realised was a demonic spirit, took over her body and started teaching on the afterlife. Basically he was using the term 'passing over' which is a term used by some new-age gurus meaning that when we die, we all go to the same beautiful place. However, if this is the case then why would Jesus have had to die on the cross for our sins? If we believe the Bible it very clearly states that Jesus (Our Living Creator) is the Way, the Truth and the Life, and no one comes to the Father except through Him. The Bible teaches that satan masquerades as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14). I stayed until the end of the meeting at the College of Psychic Studies, however, I did not wish to return there after this experience! I told the ladies at the mothers and toddlers group of my experience at the College of Psychic Studies, and I have since learned that they were praying for me at this time. Our youngest daughter Catherine was born in the QEII Hospital, Welwyn Garden City, in April 1980. I had quite a bad experience after this birth, however not as bad as the first birth with Vicky. I had a panic attack and a feeling that there was a battle between self-destruction and praying within me. I remember crying out for the Christian ladies to help me to stop this urge to jump out of the window, we were 6 stories up in the QEII Hospital at that time! We had been blessed with another beautiful daughter, Catherine Mary, whom I learned to love just as much as I loved Vicky. My mental state improved somewhat after returning home from the hospital. I was a very maternal mother.
Whilst living and working in London, my dad's sister, my beloved aunt Doris introduced me to the agency that she worked for 'Childminders of Harley Street'. She used to take on maternity cases for them. I started working for them part time for very wealthy families, looking after babies and their children whilst their parents attended social functions, mostly in the evenings after I'd been working in hospitals during the day. This was on days when I didn't have hangovers! I was a binge drinker, so could go for several days without drinking and would usually mostly drink at weekends. All this experience stood me in very good stead for looking after my own babies and toddlers. I was very maternal and I still love babies and toddlers, Little children and animals are so innocent and don't hurt or destroy relationships like adults very often do.
I made an appointment to go and see Ray, the vicar of St Martins Knebworth because of my mental and emotional state. I think the ladies from the mothers and toddlers group had spoken to him about me. The first thing he said to me was 'Helen, have you got your armour on'. I immediately said to him ' What armour!?'. He then proceeded to write on a piece of paper a scripture, Ephesians 6: 10 - 18 'For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against spiritual wickedness in high places etc'. I returned home after this and took the old Bible down from the shelf that my mother had given me, which nobody ever read, and found the scripture. At this time I was taking Valium and anti-depressants. I realised that the enemy, satan, had been trying to destroy me for most of my life, it was a revelation!
After this visit to Ray I got on my knees in our lounge one day and prayed 'Lord if you are there I want to know you and I commit my whole life to Jesus; please fill me with your Holy Spirit that I might understand better'. After this prayer I began to understand a 'Good News' Bible which Jenny my Christian friend from the church had given me, I started reading John's Gospel and then read the Book Of Acts and the rest of the New Testament. Acts 2:36-38 read 'Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly that God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ. Now when they heard this, they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the Apostles "Men and brethren, what shall we do?" Then Peter said to them "repent and let every one of you be baptised in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit"'. Around this time Tom Jewett, the Missioner from the London healing Mission, came to St.Martins church in Knebworth one Sunday morning to preach. I so wanted to attend the service because Ray had told me a bit about it. There was a battle for me to get there on that particular morning as I felt very unwell, I had to call Ray on the telephone and he prayed nothing would stop me from getting there. I arrived at the church with my husband John and my two little girls, Vicky and Catherine. Tom Jewett was preaching about the dangers of the occult realm. He warned how important it was for us to remove all occult literature and effigies from our homes, as these can have an adverse effect on our lives. He gave an example of how in Africa, some Christians had burned effigies related to witchcraft practices, and sometimes they refused to burn until they were prayed over in the name of Jesus! After the service Tom Jewett laid hands on me and prayed. He commanded the spirit of fear to come out of me and I immediately felt it leave. I was very fortunate to have found Ray, a spiritually reborn vicar who understood the Bible!
I attended a meeting at the Broadwater Chapel, Stevenage, where Ray's three daughters were being baptised by total immersion. I had never experienced a meeting like this called 'church'. The meeting started off with praise and worship where people were raising their hands in adoration to the Lord. After this, much to my amazement, somebody from the congregation spoke out in a foreign language (tongues) and then from the other side of the congregation somebody gave an interpretation of the message in English, which was 'Come out from those things that I have not been pleased that you should be involved in. Come out and be separated unto Me alone, and I will anoint you with my oil, and bring you to a place of freedom. I will confirm this with each one of you as you announce and pronounce that you will come out and be completely Mine'. I was bowled over by this message because it spoke straight to my heart. The evening Baptism service continued and I witnessed several candidates being totally immersed in water. A few of them were from the village of Knebworth, the rest of them were from Stevenage. I wanted to be baptised myself that night but didn't have a dry change of clothes.
After this experience, and after Ray and his family had left the village, I approached the new vicar of St.Martins, Roger, and asked if he would support me in going to the Broadwater Chapel to be baptised by total immersion. His reply was 'That's really not necessary as you were Christened as a baby'. However I knew in my spirit I had to be baptised as a believer, also I had been having dreams of a coffin going down into the baptism water. Therefore I contacted the pastor and his wife at Broadwater Chapel who came over to our home for lunch one day and Len agreed to baptise me in an evening service. It was February 1981 and on the evening of the baptism service I was very nervous. My husband John and my friend Jenny attended the service with me. When it was time to give testimony during the service I read out Psalm 51, as this Psalm was exactly how I felt, just like King David had done. I so identified with how King David had cried out to God for mercy, it was just between me and God! I went down into the waters of baptism and was in the early stages of pregnancy with my son Richard at this time. I no longer drank alcohol after my baptism in February 1981. I had received the Holy Spirit by then. The Bible says not to be drunk with wine, but to be filled with and controlled by the Holy Spirit (Eph:5:18).
I worked as a part time Auxiliary Nurse when my children were very young. This helped me to focus on other people's problems and fulfil the vision I had always had to become a nurse. After several years of auxiliary nursing I was beginning to see how sick many people were being kept by continuous use of drug medication. I was becoming more and more grieved seeing a lot of chronic sickness on the various wards which I was working on.
My journey to more wholeness began at the age of 44, after a very early menopause, I had given birth to three children, which was a wonderful gift from the Lord. However because of all the work this entailed, coupled with toxicity and nutritional deficiencies, this had taken a huge toll on my health because of my weakened health support system right from birth. Because of studying nutrition and natural medicine I decided not to take HRT therapy. Instead I started having colonic therapy much to my husbands disapproval! His family were steeped in the orthodox medical profession, i.e. his grandfather was a GP and his mother had been a pharmacist. At about this time I attended a clinic in Harley Street who tested me on a diagnostic machine and they told me I was pre-cancerous. I decided not to tell my family as I didnt wish to worry them at this particular time. Instead I shared my problem with my friend Carol, who was a nutrition practitioner. Subsequently I went to many natural care practitioners to try and get well at this time in my life because sometimes I felt so ill. I spent a lot of money on supplements trying to get well, and which would probably have taken me around the world twice. I also embarked on a series of colonic therapies. I could have done this journey in a much simpler, quicker and cheaper way if I'd known then what I know now! Rather like the children of Israel, who took 40 years to get to the Promised Land, a journey they could have done in much less time if they'd only known. Studying many of the works of the old pioneers of Natural Medicine such as Dr Bernard Jensen and Dr. Norman Walker has been such an eye opener. Especially with regard to fasting and detoxification.
As my children were growing up I was still doing auxiliary nursing in hospitals and nursing homes. The final crunch came when I was working in a private hospital in Guildford one day, looking after a lady who had cancer. She was receiving radiotherapy for this, and the cancer had invaded her lymphatic system, she'd had a mastectomy and one arm removed. I took her to the en-suite wash room to take off her nightgown to wash and bathe her to get her ready for the day. When I touched her abdomen area it was solid and hard, she was obviously dehydrated and impacted in her colon, and probably had been dehydrated and malnourished for many years. I was so distressed that I went outside her room and I cried 'Lord, I can't do this any longer! I have to tell people the truth about nutrition and natural medicine'. Because of my increasing knowledge of natural medicine, I just knew there had to be a more natural and long lasting way to healing and wholeness than pumping oneself with drugs!
When my son Richard was 4 years old, we moved from Hertfordshire down to Surrey. The Christians at the Stevenage Christian fellowship told us that if we were moving we needed to make contact with a charismatic church near Hawley where we were moving to. At this charismatic church, which ended up like being a cult, I met a friend, Adrienne, whom I have known now for 35 years. Because of my emotional state, Adrienne suggested I attend AA meetings. I attended 3 AA meetings around about 1985 and failed to get the spiritual understanding. At this time I listened to a VHS cassette by an American pastor criticising Alcoholics Anonymous as being wrong biblically and that it would ultimately lead me into the occult. AA has a Big Book which I purchased at that time and was beginning to read. However after listening to the American pastor warning about occult connections, I threw my Big Book into the dustbin! I lost touch with Adrienne for some time after she left the charismatic church and then a couple of years later we also left the church. We also left another Baptist church because of the 'Toronto blessing' which caused much divisiveness.
I was very distressed one evening after having an argument with my husband, slammed the front door and drove around the area near where we lived, screaming out to God for help! I realised that I would not be able to call up anyone from the Baptist church because they wouldn't have been able to understand or help me. I therefore went to Adrienne's house late that evening and spent two hours with her. I poured out my heart to her, I felt motivated to do so as she had pointed me in the direction of AA some 15 years previously. I had been told in a ladies Christian group that I mustn't share what was going on in my marriage with other Christians. Adrienne suggested I attended some AA meetings because, although I hadn't had a drink of alcohol for 20 years, my emotions were shot to pieces. I started attending some AA, Al-anon and CODA meetings and began to understand the recovery programme. I prayed that there would be a more Christian version of this and the Lord led me to Overcomers Outreach, a group of believers in recovery who studied the Life Recovery Bible. Since the year 2000 when all of this happened, I have had many 'divine' appointments with people who have benefited from purchasing a Life Recovery Bible.
Just recently, June 2020, a friend Anita, sent me a link from a 'prestigious' Christian ministry in America entitled 'How heretics shaped Alcoholics Anonymous - Spiritual truth behind AA'. I was greatly saddened yet again by yet another Christian organisation who obviously have very little understanding of the horrors of addiction. What I like about the 12 step fellowships is that we are equal trusted servants, unlike organisations where there is much control (domination, intimidation and manipulation) at the leadership level. Organisations tend to become corrupt to a greater or lesser extent, even 'Christian' ones, whereas 12 step groups function as self-perpetuating organisms. One of the lessons I learned from 12 Step Recovery groups (steps of repentance) is 'no matter what our creed or colour we are all children of a Living Creator'. There is only one Living Creator, the one who rose from the dead, the Lord Jesus Christ. I am so unbelievably grateful to have a relationship with the Holy Spirit, having been set free from satan's counterfeit spirit. I have no doubt whatsoever that the Holy Spirit is present in recovery meetings or wherever two or more are gathered together in love and acceptance. The Holy Spirit's work is conviction, not condemnation. He, The Holy Spirit, is a Gentleman and doesn't flaunt Himself, He gently convicts. Some false religious teachers preach that we can lose our salvation which is a teaching originating from the pit of hell! He, the Lord Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, promises that once He has begun a good work in us He will complete it (Philippians 1:6).
I created some really messed up scenarios in my life because of lack of knowledge of God's Word, the Holy Bible, lack of knowledge of His love for me and ignorance of what the power of the Atonement of Christ has already accomplished for us. I also had a limited knowledge of the best nutrition to nurture my body with. I'm still learning about relationships and continual forgiveness in the 12 step life recovery groups, and studying the Life Recovery Bible. I try to keep my life as simple as possible, and have been blessed with a lovely little home in a very beautiful and peaceful location. I have a small amount of possessions. I love looking after my grandchildren, cooking, gardening, walking, painting and swimming. I also help those who wish to know more about Nutrition therapy, spiritual healing - 12 step work and I do some massage. In the 12 step spiritual recovery programmes we have a slogan "keep it simple". I now have an excellent food regime which helps to keep me fit, that coupled with regular exercise, swimming, walking and good restful sleep. I have truly been reborn and give God all the glory. He says "My people perish through lack of knowledge" (Hosea 4:6). We are led into truth if we are really searching for our Creator with all of our hearts (Jeremiah 29:13). I am now feeling so much better spiritually, emotionally and physically after putting the principles I have learned over the years into practice!
Diploma in Nutrition for Healthcare Practitioners.
I embarked on a spiritual journey having had an experience with the Holy Spirit in 1980, after being set free from alcohol addiction! With the Holy Spirit I experience more joy, peace and love instead of hangovers and torment and depression!
At this time I also began to understand the Holy Bible. And the reason why I am sharing my experience is because of Psalm 107; Verse 2 'Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom He has delivered from the hand of the adversary'.
Because of my very low state of health from birth with a forceps delivery, bottle feeding, childhood vaccinations, and not the ideal diet containing too much sugar and dairy produce, I developed many childhood ailments. My tonsils and adenoids were removed when I was seven years old (tonsils and adenoids are part of the immune system). Over the years I developed asthma, sugar and alcohol addiction, experienced slow learning, panic attacks migraines and depression.
I had quite a happy childhood mainly in the company of my grandparents as we lived in their home. My mother was very busy looking after my younger sister and my dad was often away in the navy. My grandmother taught me how to sew and knit and she read children's Bible stories to me. I remember her telling me that Jesus had died on a cross and that he died for me. As soon as she said this to me I started to cry! My grandfather was my best friend and spent a lot of time taking me for country walks. We used to spend time in the garden and in his greenhouse, growing plants. We also spent time indoors together playing games, such as ludo, dominoes, snakes and ladders etc. My grandmother became ill when I was 10 years old and she was confined to her bed because of having a stroke. In those days we didn't put elderly people into nursing homes, our parents looked after them at home. I helped my mother look after my grandmother by taking food to her bedroom on a tray, helping her to feed, brushing her hair and washing her. One day she became very delirious and at one point screamed at my mother to get me out of her bedroom! This was an extremely distressing experience for both my mother and myself. After she passed away in our house, my grandfather became depressed as he missed her very much. When I was 11 years old, just less than a year after my grandmother died, my grandfather, who had bronchitis, came up to my bedroom, against my mother's wishes, whilst she was out shopping. She had told him not to walk up the stairs because of his bronchitis. I was in bed with asthma. My grandfather sat on my bed and I remember him saying goodbye to me which I didn't understand at the time. On reflection he must have known that he was going to die. The following morning I heard a lot of commotion in the next room, then looked out of the window and saw my grandfathers coffin being taken down the drive and put into a hearse and driven away. I was absolutely devastated when my mother came into my bedroom and told me what had happened. I shut down emotionally for over 20 years and couldn't cry. I just remember praying 'Goodbye granpy, see you in heaven', I had already given my heart to Jesus at the Roman Catholic convent school so had been taught a little about prayer. During this traumatic experience with my grandmother and my grandfather I was emotionally disturbed and couldn't concentrate at school. My mother used to take me to the convent on a Saturday morning for extra tuition for the 11 Plus exam, however I still managed to fail it!
Because we were Anglicans my mother arranged for me to go to confirmation classes, I had already been christened in the Church of England as a baby. I had developed a lot of fear in my life at this stage because of being around my grandparents dying and also around the priests and the nuns in the Roman Catholic convent. There was a lot of emphasis on punishment and eternal separation from God. One day whilst walking from the convent through the woods to the playing fields, we walked past a stagnant lake. Some of the children whispered that underneath this lake was 'hell' and that if you committed the unpardonable sin which they said was 'murder' you would end up in hell underneath this stagnant lake forever. At around the age of 13 I developed a huge wart on one of my fingers. The organist at the Anglican church we attended St.Mary's, Bickleigh, suggested that I would have it charmed away. Apparently there was a man in Cornwall that did that type of thing and she arranged to have him charm the wart away and it worked! I never had to meet this man and a couple of weeks later, the wart had disappeared. I had no idea, at that age, that the Bible forbids these type of practices. Deuteronomy 18:9-14 'There shall not be found among you, anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, or one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who conjurers spells, or a medium or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. For all who do these things are an abomination to the Lord, and because of these abominations, the Lord your God, drives them out from before you. You shall be blameless before the Lord your God. For these nations which you will dispossess listen to soothsayers and diviners; but as for you, the Lord your God has not appointed such for you'.
I really didn't want to be confirmed in the Church of England, however I had to be obedient to my mothers wishes. I attended the confirmation classes which I didn't understand. On the day of my confirmation I had to dress in a white top and white skirt and felt very rebellious and fearful. The bishop of Plymouth came to the church and said some prayers over the confirmation candidates, then placed a mitre on our shoulders. I was very fearful about the whole experience. Looking back on it all now, in an ideal world I should have received the Holy Spirit. However I had never heard of the Holy Spirit in those days even though I went to Church. No-one in my family read the Bible! However a few years later at Christmas I had my first taste of sherry and never looked back because this seemed the answer to many of my problems. I remember feeling euphoric and I could feel the alcohol travelling throughout my body. It took away my fear and lack of confidence and gave me a great sense of well being. This was the introduction to my alcoholic addiction that lasted for the next 15 years, when, by God's grace I was set free. The Holy Bible tells us not to be drunk with wine but to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
Having left the convent because I failed the 11 Plus examination, I was now embarking on a new path in a rough secondary modern school where even more fear entered my life. Most of the children at this school had a different background from me. They often teased me which was very upsetting, so I was fearful of going to school most mornings because of the rough children and the somewhat aggressive teachers. I questioned a lot of what we were learning at school. For example in geography I wondered how water could stick to a ball shaped earth spinning at thousands of miles per hour, going around the sun! When I was a child although I thought I was wrong to believe this concept, perhaps I wasn't quite so unintelligent as I thought. "He who answers a matter before he hears the facts - it is folly and shame to him" (Proverbs 18:13 - Amplified Bible). "What a shame, what folly, to give advice before listening to the facts!" (Proverbs 18:13 New Living Translation Bible). For an excellent documentary on this subject click here 'Jesuits Erasing our Flat Earth'.
The significance of the Firmament enclosed flat earth.
To Pastors against Flat Earth.
Flat Earth: What holds up the Earth?
The Cosmic Breath Stream
The Aurora Borealis
75 King James Version - Bible Verses
How Southern Stars work on Flat Earth
Proof! No one has been to space!
Planes hit Firmament
Flat Earth for beginners - Hold on to your hat!
Whistleblower CONFIRMS Satellites are not what you were told
How and Why Flat Earth was Hidden
Rainbows are NOT what you were told
Scientists find evidence of a Dome structure
Feed Your Mind - Flat Earth Proof - The Secret origin of Satellite technology Revealed
The REAL REASON Time Is RUNNING OUT On The GLOBE EARTH‼️
Rainbow (The Glory of God)
Lava and Magma is not what we were told
Biblical Flat Earth vs Fake NASA Globe
The Dome, the Throne Skyfall 2
Pastor Dean Odle - The Lesser & Full Moon Dynamics of an Eclipse
Inside a Flat Earth convention, where nearly everyone believes Earth isn't round
The Tower of Babel Proves that the Earth is Flat.
We did not Go To The Moon BUZZ - Flat Earth
The Mindblowing Size of the Flat Earth Discovered
There is no such thing as Gravity on Flat Earth
Proof the Sun and Moon Travel Through Portals outside of Our Dimension
Breaking... Firmament Discovered over the Flat Earth!
NASA Slams Rocket Into Flat Earth
The Earth is Flat... Do You Trust The Science?
The Rainbow is Proof that the Earth is Flat
5 Guys Prove The Earth Is Flat!
Flat Earth Convention in Amsterdam
Flat Earth Convention in Amsterdam Part 2
Book Of Psalms REVEALS What Is BEYOND The ICE WALL
The SECRET History of the Bible FINALLY REVEALED!!
The SECRET History of CHURCH!!
BENEATH the Earth IS NOT What You Were Told!!
PROOF Rare Skystone Might Be a Piece Of The FIRMAMENT?!
Trump Finally Exposes NASA as a Fraud!
Top Scientist Silence Finally Broken About The Flat Earth , Magic & Gravity
Proof EVERYONE Was INDOCTRINATED Since BIRTH!!
STOP Falling For CURVED LENSES!! (PROOF The Earth is FLAT!!
PROOF the "Space Station" IS NOT What You Were Told!
Reality is NOT what you were told!
Height of the dome firmament EXPLAINED
The Mystery of Crop Circles | L.A. Marzulli
Former FBI agent EXPOSES the truth of the UFO invasion | Redacted
The Shape of the Universe - Dr Gene Kim - Bible Revival - Australia - Day 3
Beyond the Ice Wall of Antarctica
Renowned University Professor Major Coleman revealed Noah's Ark was a Fl...
Top Geophysicist States the Earth is Flat
The Moon Landing: Stanley Kubrick's Greatest Film
I left school at 16 and with few qualifications, however I then attended the College of Housecraft and the Pryors Secretarial College in Plymouth where I became a very efficient short hand typist. At around the age of 17 I started dating boys which was another fearful experience. My dad was a very angry man when he returned from the Navy whilst I was growing up as a teenager after my grandparents had died. Over the years I came to realise how disturbed my dad had been because he had been blown off a ship in World War II in North Africa. Around this time I started to drink socially. One day I remember going to my mothers grocery cupboard underneath the stairs and taking the brandy bottle down to have a couple of swigs before a boy came to the door to take me out on a date. I always had to have some alcoholic drinks before I went on any social occasion as a confidence boost. I became pregnant at the age of 19. My mother told me I'd have to be sent away because she didn't want the neighbours or the Church congregation to know about this shameful situation. My GP advised me to take very large doses of Castor Oil and Epsom salts as I was desperate not to be sent away. This was a very painful experience to go through at that age. I had no idea at that time I was carrying a real child, I thought it was just a lump of cells. After taking my GP's advice I didn't want to cause shame for my family. I took the large doses of Castor Oil and Epsom salts after which I was very sick and ill. I had to stay in bed for several days and this triggered the loss of my very early pregnancy as I was bleeding profusely. My relationship with my mother was very difficult and it became more so after this experience. I cannot remember being shown any compassion or love and forgiveness, just condemnation. Since going through a divorce many years later, the good Lord gave me the friendship of a very loving grandfather/widower, named Jim, who's daughter had become pregnant at a very young age. My dear friend Jim, supported his daughter in her very upsetting situation. He removed the boy from her life and he and his late wife raised her little girl as their own! Trisha is now in her 40's and has her own children. Ironically this family were not 'religious' just a very loving supportive family. Over the years and since receiving much healing from true believers I have come to realise and understand why so many people don't want anything to do with religion! After much healing it is very evident that it's not about 'religion' but about a relationship with Jesus, our Living Creator. If the Lord hadn't given me dear Jim, I am sure I would have had a complete breakdown! He supported me every day of my life at the beginning of my separation from my husband. Jim also found the little home that I am living in at the moment. I realise that many religious people, my family included, desperately needed to understand and work the 12 step life recovery programme of AA and Al-anon. The Life Recovery Bible is the most helpful Bible I have ever had and I have many different versions of the Bible.
At the age of 13 I had stopped attending the Anglican Church with my family as I saw no reality in some of the congregations behaviour such as gossiping and back-biting, also having to comment at the lunch table on Easter Sunday our opinions on all the women's fashions. I really didn't understand what the gospel was about. Since becoming spiritually reborn I now know that Psalm 139 explains that we have a Living Creator and He formed everyone in their mother's womb; that He has planned how long every one of us is going to live before one of our days had begun; that He knows what we are going to say before we say it. This is just awesome! My mother wasn't in touch with her feelings and emotions, at least she didn't express them, My way of coping with painful emotions and feelings was to drink alcohol and mask the pain. I didn't realise in those days how badly I needed the Al-Anon fellowships (these fellowships are groups of people in recovery, supporting one another and learning a spiritual way of life to cope with the effect that alcohol and alcoholic behaviour has had on our families - this possibly embraces many families in our society).
I moved to London to live when I was 21 years old after leaving home in the West Country. I Studied for some GCSE examinations and also worked as a Medical Secretary in various hospitals. Initially I started working with a Secretarial Agency and soon gravitated towards hospitals. I guess this was because I had been fearful of doctors and medical intervention since my childhood, however I remember also wanting to become a nurse when I was a child, setting up a hospital ward in the lounge with my dolls and pretend medicines etc. I am now pleased I didn't undertake nurse training because this would have meant administering pharmaceutical drugs to patients. I started working in the London hospital, Whitechapel, for the Gynaecology Consultants, they were very short of secretaries in those days. I took a Medical dictionary with me everywhere I went and worked as a secretary to the Consultants when their secretaries were off sick or on holiday. This was in the days before the Medical secretarial course had been introduced. I was very good at my Secretarial jobs, enjoying the work which was very interesting and challenging. I was offered a permanent job working for the Plastic Surgeons and E.N.T surgeons where I worked for around 3 years. Sometimes they would ask me if I would like to go to theatres and watch operations which I did and found it all very interesting. I especially enjoyed sitting in on the Plastic Surgery clinic on Friday mornings with the Consultant, chaperoning patients for him and taking notes in shorthand.
After arriving in London I shared a house with five other girls in Wandsworth. One of the girls, Caroline, introduced me to the ouija board. Several of us sat round a table one evening and were asking questions to a glass on a table which was moving around pointing to letters in the alphabet. The glass was answering questions which Caroline and some of the other girls were asking it. When it came to my turn, I can't remember what question I asked it, but the glass just shot across the table and smashed against the wall! I never participated in this practice again! On reflection, after this incident, and after becoming a spiritually reborn Christian I realised that the demonic spirit controlling the glass wouldn't have been allowed to touch me because I belonged to Jesus. I'd given my heart to Jesus as a child at the Roman Catholic Convent school and I had also been Christened as a baby in the Church of England. At this time I didn't understand the Bible and didn't know that to practise such things as the ouija board was an abomination to God (Deuteronomy 18).
At around this time my alcohol consumption was becoming a problem, I had been drinking since the age of 16 socially, and was finding it increasingly difficult to work on a regular basis. Therefore I quit my job in the London Hospital and re-joined the Medical Agency. They sent me to most of the London teaching hospitals, where I worked as a temporary secretary filling in for secretaries on holiday and sick leave. I worked for a wide range of Consultants of different specialities for approximately 5 years. I managed this better around my drinking because if I was feeling unwell in the mornings I would ring in to say I would come in later that day or the next day. One day I felt too ill to go to work in Harley Street where I was working for a private medical consultant with the agency. I was living at this time with two other girls in Enfield, Middlesex. One day I had consumed so much alcohol the night before that I woke up shaking, sweating and vomiting. The only thing that calmed me was to pour out several very strong gin and tonics first thing. During the course of the morning the doorbell rang, I answered to see a group of people standing on my doorstep saying 'the Lord has led us to this house this morning to pray for you', I invited them in, they all sat around me and I remember telling them that I no longer believed in God, hadn't been to church for years and saw no reality in it. This group of people handed me a booklet entitled 'Journey into Life', which I put away into my belongings and didn't look at it until after my eldest daughter Vicky was born.
I met my husband, John, through a mutual friend, an Orthopaedic receptionist at the Royal Free Hospital, Grays Inn Road, where I was working for one of the orthopaedic consultants whilst his secretary was on holiday. Sylvia, the receptionist, and her husband Wilson invited me round for supper one evening in North London and they had also invited John the same evening to meet me. John and I started dating and I continued drinking heavily during this time, however John didn't drink as much as I did. We married in July 1976 at St Mary's Church, Bickleigh in Devon. My dad, bless him, realised I was nervous before the wedding and gave me an egg cup full of milk and brandy. He didn't realise I was used to drinking brandy by the half bottle! I didn't wish to drink alcohol on my wedding day and by this time my doctor had given me anti-depressants and Valium, so on my wedding day I took 40 milligrams of Valium which helped me to get up the aisle in the Anglican Church in Devon! One aunt who attended the wedding remarked many years later, how thin and unwell I looked on my wedding day.
All of these experiences gave me a deep desire to search for truth so I decided to contact the vicar of St Mary's who conducted our wedding ceremony in Devon and had, by this time, moved to live in Cambridge. My parents told me that the bishop of Plymouth had defrocked him because of his abuse of young boys at the vicarage. As human beings we have a tendency to put people on pedestals (thinking they are "God"). Then when they fall off their pedestal, we disown them and discredit their character. This didn't deter me from wanting to speak with John, the vicar, because he was the only vicar I knew, and I presumed that because he was a vicar he would be able to lead me to a relationship with God! Although I was not always feeling very well - in fact far from it - I managed to contact him in Cambridge and he asked me to come up and visit him there. When I arrived at the house his male partner answered the door and he led into John's office. John (the vicar) remembered he had married John and myself the previous year, however he wasn't able to point me in the right direction to a relationship with God!
Soon after our wedding I became pregnant with Vicky, who was born just over a year after we got married. We were living in our first home, a first floor maisonette in Barnet at this time. My first experience of childbirth was extremely frightening, I was quite emotionally unwell, it was a very long labour and afterwards I experienced puerperal psychosis (this is a condition where one has hallucinations and delusions). I had to stay in hospital for two weeks, which everyone had to do in those days for a first baby. After the birth and had to move wards twice, the first time because there was an invasion of ants in the ward! The second time I was moved to a room on my own because I was experiencing hallucinations. I tried to escape from the hospital carrying my baby with me whilst nurses were chasing after me. I hadn't slept properly for two weeks even after having lots of sleeping tablets. I was experiencing hallucinations and delusions and refused to speak to a psychiatrist because I felt like I was in hell and torment. I have since discussed this psychosis experience with one of my clients who is a retired psychiatrist, and he tells me that most certainly my psychosis was caused through stress, lack of sleep on the post natal ward, combined with sleeping tablets, and Pethadine which is a pain controller. They also gave me Guinness on the ward after Vicky was born as it was supposed to promote the milk flow into my breasts. Eventually everything calmed down and they discharged me back to the flat where we lived and my mother came to help, which was not a very easy time for either of us. When my mother left to go home things began to settle down. I was very blessed to have Roger, a very kind GP at that time, who, I believe on reflection, was praying for me.
One day I was running a bath and I took the Journey into Life booklet into the bath to read because I was still searching for truth. At the end of the booklet there was a prayer to commit our lives to Jesus and I prayed this prayer. The booklet was telling me to go and tell another Christian what I had just done. I didn't know who to share this with so I went to my daughter who was just waking up in the other bedroom. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and I said 'darling baby Vicky, your mummy has just committed her life to Jesus again, but this time I think possibly its different!' Because our family tradition had been christening in the Church Of England, I approached the vicar of Holy Trinity, Barnet, who came to see us one day and arranged for Vicky to be christened. I thought it was necessary for babies to be christened to ensure their entry into heaven. I was christened as a baby and confirmed. However these traditions didn't make me spiritually reborn, maybe, the prayers of the Saints attending these services, and others who prayed for me along life's journey had some influence in this! We had a few friends and family members attending Vicky's christening service. It turned out to be quite hilarious for everyone as Vicky, looking so beautiful in her long white gown and shawl, blew raspberries throughout the whole service and had the congregation and vicar in stitches!
When Vicky was about a year old, we decided we would like to have another child and move to a bigger home. We bought a 3 story townhouse in Knebworth and for the first 3 months of living there I was decorating and working on the home. I decided to join the Mothers and Toddlers group in the village run by the Anglican Church. I was befriended there by three ladies, Jenny, Margaret and Maggie who ran the group and attended the Anglican church. I asked them many questions about God and they were praying for me. At about this time I also met a lady who recommended I attend the College of Psychic Studies in South Kensington, to find out more about the afterlife and about spiritual matters. My husband, John, said I could take the car down to South Kensington after he returned from work one evening and attend the meeting at the college. I attended a few meetings. The last meeting I attended, a very attractive lady was introduced as the speaker. She focused her eyes on me and said 'I'm not sure if he will come this evening'. As she looked at me I felt very uncomfortable, however after a few minutes she informed the audience 'Yes, its alright, he will come!'. The next thing that happened was that a man's voice, I've since realised was a demonic spirit, took over her body and started teaching on the afterlife. Basically he was using the term 'passing over' which is a term used by some new-age gurus meaning that when we die, we all go to the same beautiful place. However, if this is the case then why would Jesus have had to die on the cross for our sins? If we believe the Bible it very clearly states that Jesus (Our Living Creator) is the Way, the Truth and the Life, and no one comes to the Father except through Him. The Bible teaches that satan masquerades as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14). I stayed until the end of the meeting at the College of Psychic Studies, however, I did not wish to return there after this experience! I told the ladies at the mothers and toddlers group of my experience at the College of Psychic Studies, and I have since learned that they were praying for me at this time. Our youngest daughter Catherine was born in the QEII Hospital, Welwyn Garden City, in April 1980. I had quite a bad experience after this birth, however not as bad as the first birth with Vicky. I had a panic attack and a feeling that there was a battle between self-destruction and praying within me. I remember crying out for the Christian ladies to help me to stop this urge to jump out of the window, we were 6 stories up in the QEII Hospital at that time! We had been blessed with another beautiful daughter, Catherine Mary, whom I learned to love just as much as I loved Vicky. My mental state improved somewhat after returning home from the hospital. I was a very maternal mother.
Whilst living and working in London, my dad's sister, my beloved aunt Doris introduced me to the agency that she worked for 'Childminders of Harley Street'. She used to take on maternity cases for them. I started working for them part time for very wealthy families, looking after babies and their children whilst their parents attended social functions, mostly in the evenings after I'd been working in hospitals during the day. This was on days when I didn't have hangovers! I was a binge drinker, so could go for several days without drinking and would usually mostly drink at weekends. All this experience stood me in very good stead for looking after my own babies and toddlers. I was very maternal and I still love babies and toddlers, Little children and animals are so innocent and don't hurt or destroy relationships like adults very often do.
I made an appointment to go and see Ray, the vicar of St Martins Knebworth because of my mental and emotional state. I think the ladies from the mothers and toddlers group had spoken to him about me. The first thing he said to me was 'Helen, have you got your armour on'. I immediately said to him ' What armour!?'. He then proceeded to write on a piece of paper a scripture, Ephesians 6: 10 - 18 'For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against spiritual wickedness in high places etc'. I returned home after this and took the old Bible down from the shelf that my mother had given me, which nobody ever read, and found the scripture. At this time I was taking Valium and anti-depressants. I realised that the enemy, satan, had been trying to destroy me for most of my life, it was a revelation!
After this visit to Ray I got on my knees in our lounge one day and prayed 'Lord if you are there I want to know you and I commit my whole life to Jesus; please fill me with your Holy Spirit that I might understand better'. After this prayer I began to understand a 'Good News' Bible which Jenny my Christian friend from the church had given me, I started reading John's Gospel and then read the Book Of Acts and the rest of the New Testament. Acts 2:36-38 read 'Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly that God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ. Now when they heard this, they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the Apostles "Men and brethren, what shall we do?" Then Peter said to them "repent and let every one of you be baptised in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit"'. Around this time Tom Jewett, the Missioner from the London healing Mission, came to St.Martins church in Knebworth one Sunday morning to preach. I so wanted to attend the service because Ray had told me a bit about it. There was a battle for me to get there on that particular morning as I felt very unwell, I had to call Ray on the telephone and he prayed nothing would stop me from getting there. I arrived at the church with my husband John and my two little girls, Vicky and Catherine. Tom Jewett was preaching about the dangers of the occult realm. He warned how important it was for us to remove all occult literature and effigies from our homes, as these can have an adverse effect on our lives. He gave an example of how in Africa, some Christians had burned effigies related to witchcraft practices, and sometimes they refused to burn until they were prayed over in the name of Jesus! After the service Tom Jewett laid hands on me and prayed. He commanded the spirit of fear to come out of me and I immediately felt it leave. I was very fortunate to have found Ray, a spiritually reborn vicar who understood the Bible!
I attended a meeting at the Broadwater Chapel, Stevenage, where Ray's three daughters were being baptised by total immersion. I had never experienced a meeting like this called 'church'. The meeting started off with praise and worship where people were raising their hands in adoration to the Lord. After this, much to my amazement, somebody from the congregation spoke out in a foreign language (tongues) and then from the other side of the congregation somebody gave an interpretation of the message in English, which was 'Come out from those things that I have not been pleased that you should be involved in. Come out and be separated unto Me alone, and I will anoint you with my oil, and bring you to a place of freedom. I will confirm this with each one of you as you announce and pronounce that you will come out and be completely Mine'. I was bowled over by this message because it spoke straight to my heart. The evening Baptism service continued and I witnessed several candidates being totally immersed in water. A few of them were from the village of Knebworth, the rest of them were from Stevenage. I wanted to be baptised myself that night but didn't have a dry change of clothes.
After this experience, and after Ray and his family had left the village, I approached the new vicar of St.Martins, Roger, and asked if he would support me in going to the Broadwater Chapel to be baptised by total immersion. His reply was 'That's really not necessary as you were Christened as a baby'. However I knew in my spirit I had to be baptised as a believer, also I had been having dreams of a coffin going down into the baptism water. Therefore I contacted the pastor and his wife at Broadwater Chapel who came over to our home for lunch one day and Len agreed to baptise me in an evening service. It was February 1981 and on the evening of the baptism service I was very nervous. My husband John and my friend Jenny attended the service with me. When it was time to give testimony during the service I read out Psalm 51, as this Psalm was exactly how I felt, just like King David had done. I so identified with how King David had cried out to God for mercy, it was just between me and God! I went down into the waters of baptism and was in the early stages of pregnancy with my son Richard at this time. I no longer drank alcohol after my baptism in February 1981. I had received the Holy Spirit by then. The Bible says not to be drunk with wine, but to be filled with and controlled by the Holy Spirit (Eph:5:18).
I worked as a part time Auxiliary Nurse when my children were very young. This helped me to focus on other people's problems and fulfil the vision I had always had to become a nurse. After several years of auxiliary nursing I was beginning to see how sick many people were being kept by continuous use of drug medication. I was becoming more and more grieved seeing a lot of chronic sickness on the various wards which I was working on.
My journey to more wholeness began at the age of 44, after a very early menopause, I had given birth to three children, which was a wonderful gift from the Lord. However because of all the work this entailed, coupled with toxicity and nutritional deficiencies, this had taken a huge toll on my health because of my weakened health support system right from birth. Because of studying nutrition and natural medicine I decided not to take HRT therapy. Instead I started having colonic therapy much to my husbands disapproval! His family were steeped in the orthodox medical profession, i.e. his grandfather was a GP and his mother had been a pharmacist. At about this time I attended a clinic in Harley Street who tested me on a diagnostic machine and they told me I was pre-cancerous. I decided not to tell my family as I didnt wish to worry them at this particular time. Instead I shared my problem with my friend Carol, who was a nutrition practitioner. Subsequently I went to many natural care practitioners to try and get well at this time in my life because sometimes I felt so ill. I spent a lot of money on supplements trying to get well, and which would probably have taken me around the world twice. I also embarked on a series of colonic therapies. I could have done this journey in a much simpler, quicker and cheaper way if I'd known then what I know now! Rather like the children of Israel, who took 40 years to get to the Promised Land, a journey they could have done in much less time if they'd only known. Studying many of the works of the old pioneers of Natural Medicine such as Dr Bernard Jensen and Dr. Norman Walker has been such an eye opener. Especially with regard to fasting and detoxification.
As my children were growing up I was still doing auxiliary nursing in hospitals and nursing homes. The final crunch came when I was working in a private hospital in Guildford one day, looking after a lady who had cancer. She was receiving radiotherapy for this, and the cancer had invaded her lymphatic system, she'd had a mastectomy and one arm removed. I took her to the en-suite wash room to take off her nightgown to wash and bathe her to get her ready for the day. When I touched her abdomen area it was solid and hard, she was obviously dehydrated and impacted in her colon, and probably had been dehydrated and malnourished for many years. I was so distressed that I went outside her room and I cried 'Lord, I can't do this any longer! I have to tell people the truth about nutrition and natural medicine'. Because of my increasing knowledge of natural medicine, I just knew there had to be a more natural and long lasting way to healing and wholeness than pumping oneself with drugs!
When my son Richard was 4 years old, we moved from Hertfordshire down to Surrey. The Christians at the Stevenage Christian fellowship told us that if we were moving we needed to make contact with a charismatic church near Hawley where we were moving to. At this charismatic church, which ended up like being a cult, I met a friend, Adrienne, whom I have known now for 35 years. Because of my emotional state, Adrienne suggested I attend AA meetings. I attended 3 AA meetings around about 1985 and failed to get the spiritual understanding. At this time I listened to a VHS cassette by an American pastor criticising Alcoholics Anonymous as being wrong biblically and that it would ultimately lead me into the occult. AA has a Big Book which I purchased at that time and was beginning to read. However after listening to the American pastor warning about occult connections, I threw my Big Book into the dustbin! I lost touch with Adrienne for some time after she left the charismatic church and then a couple of years later we also left the church. We also left another Baptist church because of the 'Toronto blessing' which caused much divisiveness.
I was very distressed one evening after having an argument with my husband, slammed the front door and drove around the area near where we lived, screaming out to God for help! I realised that I would not be able to call up anyone from the Baptist church because they wouldn't have been able to understand or help me. I therefore went to Adrienne's house late that evening and spent two hours with her. I poured out my heart to her, I felt motivated to do so as she had pointed me in the direction of AA some 15 years previously. I had been told in a ladies Christian group that I mustn't share what was going on in my marriage with other Christians. Adrienne suggested I attended some AA meetings because, although I hadn't had a drink of alcohol for 20 years, my emotions were shot to pieces. I started attending some AA, Al-anon and CODA meetings and began to understand the recovery programme. I prayed that there would be a more Christian version of this and the Lord led me to Overcomers Outreach, a group of believers in recovery who studied the Life Recovery Bible. Since the year 2000 when all of this happened, I have had many 'divine' appointments with people who have benefited from purchasing a Life Recovery Bible.
Just recently, June 2020, a friend Anita, sent me a link from a 'prestigious' Christian ministry in America entitled 'How heretics shaped Alcoholics Anonymous - Spiritual truth behind AA'. I was greatly saddened yet again by yet another Christian organisation who obviously have very little understanding of the horrors of addiction. What I like about the 12 step fellowships is that we are equal trusted servants, unlike organisations where there is much control (domination, intimidation and manipulation) at the leadership level. Organisations tend to become corrupt to a greater or lesser extent, even 'Christian' ones, whereas 12 step groups function as self-perpetuating organisms. One of the lessons I learned from 12 Step Recovery groups (steps of repentance) is 'no matter what our creed or colour we are all children of a Living Creator'. There is only one Living Creator, the one who rose from the dead, the Lord Jesus Christ. I am so unbelievably grateful to have a relationship with the Holy Spirit, having been set free from satan's counterfeit spirit. I have no doubt whatsoever that the Holy Spirit is present in recovery meetings or wherever two or more are gathered together in love and acceptance. The Holy Spirit's work is conviction, not condemnation. He, The Holy Spirit, is a Gentleman and doesn't flaunt Himself, He gently convicts. Some false religious teachers preach that we can lose our salvation which is a teaching originating from the pit of hell! He, the Lord Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, promises that once He has begun a good work in us He will complete it (Philippians 1:6).
I created some really messed up scenarios in my life because of lack of knowledge of God's Word, the Holy Bible, lack of knowledge of His love for me and ignorance of what the power of the Atonement of Christ has already accomplished for us. I also had a limited knowledge of the best nutrition to nurture my body with. I'm still learning about relationships and continual forgiveness in the 12 step life recovery groups, and studying the Life Recovery Bible. I try to keep my life as simple as possible, and have been blessed with a lovely little home in a very beautiful and peaceful location. I have a small amount of possessions. I love looking after my grandchildren, cooking, gardening, walking, painting and swimming. I also help those who wish to know more about Nutrition therapy, spiritual healing - 12 step work and I do some massage. In the 12 step spiritual recovery programmes we have a slogan "keep it simple". I now have an excellent food regime which helps to keep me fit, that coupled with regular exercise, swimming, walking and good restful sleep. I have truly been reborn and give God all the glory. He says "My people perish through lack of knowledge" (Hosea 4:6). We are led into truth if we are really searching for our Creator with all of our hearts (Jeremiah 29:13). I am now feeling so much better spiritually, emotionally and physically after putting the principles I have learned over the years into practice!
